With every day and with every meal I cook, I dont expect it to come out perfectly. Actually the word perfect in terms of cooking has totally changed its meaning for me. Its no more having the perfect salt or spice or sweetness to anything I make, its cooking to amma’s perfection. I want every meal I make to taste like how my amma would make it. Gone are the days where I want to eat out, try a different cusine, Now, all I want is to recreate the taste of home, my Amma’s food.

The first time I moved out of my house for my masters was in 2019. The time I had the most bizzare craving, until then I never thought I would miss idly, yes plain old IDLY. It was something I never liked before. But, since then every time I traveled home from mysore/bangalore I’d ask my mother to make hot idlys and have it with the best coconut or peanut chutney.

It was just idly to begin with but, now I have a list of all the food I miss, which I keep trying to cook at home to my ammas perfection. The rasam and sambar my amma makes is not that great, its okay. Its the least tasty of the food she makes but recently I have been missing that taste. One day I got so emotional thinking about my school days. My appa used to pack my breakfast and lunch. I used to leave home at 6:45 am, my first break would be at 10:15 am, I open the box to chutney soaked dosa/idly or kuruma soaked chapathi or podi idly. That’s how I always liked it. All in one box. Even if I close my eyes now, I can taste it. But, the sad part it that I can never go back to that time. I will never again be that little girl opening her tiffin box to eat Amma’s cooking. For the first time, I truly understand the emotion behind that scene in Ratatouille, when the food critic takes a single bite and is instantly transported to his childhood.

Its been 16 months since I left home and moved to New York, the longest I stayed away from home. So I have a long list of my amma’s food that I want to eat when I get back

  1. Poori with mutton keema
  2. Veg/channa/potato kuruma
  3. Thakkali thokku
  4. poondu molaga podi
  5. Idly/dosa with peanut/coconut/onion chutney
  6. semiya aupma
  7. Rava kesari
  8. Urulai kizhangu pattani varuval
  9. Karamani kaai
  10. Karnakizhangu verkadalai varuval
  11. Appam thenga paal/thakkali kuruma
  12. Polalangai/peerkangai poriyal
  13. Kaara kozhambu
  14. Urundai kozhambu
  15. capsicum/vendakai sambar
  16. Kezhvaragu puttu
  17. Mutton moolai varuval
  18. Ulundha vadai
  19. Adai aviyal
  20. Pudhina chutney/pudhina saadam
  21. Puli sadam

My amma has a full time job, she leaves home at 7am, its insane how she makes breakfast and lunch before that, fresh meals, every.single.day. Ofcourse my appa helps, but she gets so much done every day. She is the most hard working, dedicated and reselient person I will ever know. We’ve had a lot of difficult years in life but she still wakes up and faces everyday like a warrior, through the toughest times, the sickest days. I have never seen her take a break, not even during covid. He food has never once been bad or minimal. There is fresh food at home always. She has never once complained in life, she frequently listens to “Kurai ondrum illai” song. It a devotional song translates to There’s nothing bad in life. Even on the worst days. She never quits, she never rests. I really admire her reselience.

I dont think I can ever be as strong, dedicated and cook food that tastes good as hers. But, here’s to trying to live up to my amma’s scale every day in my life.